Couples' Consueling
by bakura'skeeper
Summary: My fisrt fic here! Be kind! YGH gang drag their yamis to couples' consueling to fix diffs in their relationships humorous results. yaoi. chapter 4 up now!
1. Default Chapter

Bakura: Why are you making us do this? Ryou: Because I think it'll help. Me: uh... guys, my disclaimer. Bakura: One...two... better not sue! *grins wickedly* Ryou: (sweat drops) Bakura'skeeper doesn't own us or any of the Yu-Gi-Oh characters. Me: Thank you. Ryou: ^_^ Bakura: Can we get on with it? Me: Here's goes.  
  
Chapter 1: Solo Alcoholic kind of mood  
  
Lose my clothes, lose my lube  
  
Cruising for a piece of fun  
  
Looking out for number one  
  
Different partner every night  
  
So narcotic outta sight  
  
What a gasp, what a beautiful ass  
-Brian Molko/ Placebo  
  
Ryou's heart was pounding in his chest as he shut the door tight behind him.  
"Let me in woman!" Bakura roared from the other side. Ryou held tight to the door knob. He's gonna kill me this time! He had been doing his homework when his yami strolled in very drunk and very horny. Usually he offered himself up to his lover but tonight he was tried. Secondly, Bakura was rough when he was like this and lately this was happening too often. Ryou shuddered with every thud of the door. He knew that Bakura was smashing his head against it now. He's gonna hurt himself. Ryou turned the knob carefully.  
"Kura?" He called. There was no there. familar hands wrapped around his wriast casuing him to cry out as he thrown down hard on the bed. Bakura looked down at his light, an evil grin spread across his face before he crushed his mouth down on the stunned boy. Ryou gave in, parting his lips to allow his lover to ravish his mouth while his hands roamed the body he had grown to yearn for.  
"I knew you'd see it my way." Bakura purred breaking the kiss. Ryou grabbed hold of the bottom of Bakura's shirt and rised it over his head. Ryou's shirt soon joined the pile that was developing on the floor.  
"You want me?" Bakura asked teasing Ryou's nipples who moaned beneath his half dressed yami. Ryou shook his head whimpering for Bakura to continue. Bakura's eyes rolled back into his head before he passing out on the now frustrated Ryou. I don't know whether to be glad or sad. He pouted, shoving Bakura to the side. He then stared down at his aching arousal that was strainig dangerously againt the fabric of his pants. He went for the drawer and pulling out the lubricate and Bakura's vibrator.  
"Guess I'm flying solo tonight." Ryou sighed. &^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^& Ryou: Hey! I would never do that! Bakura: I think it's a turn on. Ryou: *blushes* Bakura:But then again I would never blackout before getting laid! *Charges at Bakura'skeeper with knife* Me: ( runs screaming) It's my fic and I'll do what I wanna! Ryou: *sweat drops and moves out of dodge* (Bakura'skeeper tripps) Bakura: Now I got you! *rises knife and grins evily* Me: I'll be back with another chapter. (stares at Bakura's knife) Maybe 


	2. the suggestion

Me: I'm still alive people! )))))))invisble fans clap((((((((( Bakura: (now strapped down like Hannibal) *mumbles* Not for long. Ryou: Is this really nessairy? Joey: I think he looks better this way! ^_^ Kaiba: Same here. Bakura: *glares at all* Ryou: What are you guys doing here? Kaiba: We're in this part, right? Me: Joey is but not you... yet Kaiba: *glares at me* Me: With your permission of course! 0_o Ryou: (notices Bakura getting free.) Uh... BK Me: Start the fic! Start the fic! All rans as Bakura chases them  
  
Chapter 2 The suggestion  
  
Sucker love is heaven sent  
  
You pucker up, our passion's spent  
  
My heart's a tart, your body's rent  
  
My body's broken your's is bent  
  
Carve your name into my arm  
  
Instead of stressed I lie here charmed  
  
'Cos there's nothing else to do  
  
Every me and every you Sucker love a box I choose  
  
No other box I choose to use  
  
Another love I would abuse  
  
No circumstances could excuse  
  
In the shape of things to come  
  
Too much poison come undone  
  
'Cos there's nothing else to do  
  
Every me and every you  
  
Every me and every you  
  
-Brian Molko/ Placebo  
  
Ryou sighed heavily staring at his lunch. He barely talked at all today which would be normal if he hadn't started talking non-stop about this relationship with Kura.  
"Hey, Ryou," It was Joey. Ryou barely looked at him.  
"What happened now?" He asked as he, Yugi and Malik took a seat beside him.  
"Bakura came home drunk again?" Yugi asked. Ryou nodded.  
"I don't think Bakura likes me that way any more." He sniffled. Joey placed an arm around him.  
"I don't think that's it." Joey offered.  
"Then why does he only come to me when he's drunk?" They all just stared. Ryou was crying now.  
"Hey, maybe you guys just need help." Yugi suggested. Ryou perked up.  
"What kind of help?"  
"Couples' sonsueling." Yugi repiled nodding. "It's helping Yami and me." Joey looked confused.  
"You two need consueling?" They all said in disbelief. Yugi nodded.  
"Let's just say being pharaoh has made Yami selfish." They all laughed. Yugi pulled from his pocket a pamphet.  
"Here." He offered it to all the boys.  
"Dr. Lana's Couples' Corner, we'll put everything back into order." Malik read.  
"Sounds good t'me." Joey beamed. Will Kura actually go throught with it? Will Seto go throught with it? How will I trick Marik into this one?  
  
Bakura: (Holding knife to author) She's sorry it was short but not as sorry as she's gonna be if she ties me up again! Ryou: Kura she's learned her lesson.(Tries to untie BK) Bakura:*drags Me away* Ryou: Who will finish the next chapter? Me: You will! Ryou: *swallows* I ...will 


	3. i'm not asking you, i'm telling you

Ryou: Well since I have no idea how to start I'll answer this one question most of you been asking. Brian  
  
Molko is the lead singer of the band Placebo who are playing tonight in philly. Now what do I do?  
  
Kaiba: I'll help you Ryou. After all I've always thought you were cu-  
  
Bakura: *Knife now to Kaiba's throat* Finish that sentence and I will kill you. *growls*  
  
Me: I'm free! ^_^  
  
Kaiba and Joey: It worked!  
  
Bakura: *blushes as Ryou kisses his cheek*(Actually blushes! Who would've thought!)  
  
Ryou: Told you this fic would help our relationship.  
  
Me: Uh...guys.  
  
Everybody: Bakura's keeper doesn't own us or anything Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
Me: Expect this fic, cards and some toys.  
  
Chapter 3 I'm not asking you, I'm telling you  
  
It kinda went like this  
  
Stay with me  
  
Stay with me  
  
Stop  
  
Stop stammering  
  
I uh  
  
I uh  
  
I  
  
I  
  
Stop  
  
I forgot where I put it  
  
I can't remember where I put it  
  
Swallow  
  
Swallow  
  
Hey  
  
Hey  
  
What  
  
Marilyn  
  
Yeah  
  
I  
  
I  
  
Well I  
  
Kind of  
  
It kinda went like this  
  
Kinda  
  
Stay with me  
  
Stay with me  
  
Stop  
  
Stammering  
Brian Molko/ Placebo  
  
Ryou watched Bakura down beer after beer. He had been home for an hour and still had yet to tell him that they would be taking conseuling sessions. After all, Kura hated being told what to do. Joey dialed Kaiba as soon as he got home. He couldn't tell him in person what he had signed them up for. Besides he went weak at the sight of his lover.  
"What?" Kaiba barked into the phone. He was at work after all.  
"Seto, it's Joey."  
"Aww, puppy I told you about calling me at work." A pause. "You wanna get together later?"  
"No, I was actually calling to tell you that I signed us up for couples' conseuling this weekend."  
"You did what?!" Joey moved the phone from his ear. Kaiba was still yelling. Joey heard a few choice swears directed his way. He felt the tears well up.  
"Da what's I'm talkin' about Seto! You treat me like crap! We were doing fine when we first started dating but now ya treating me like I'm Yugi!" The boy CEO sighed.  
"Fine we'll do it. Only because I have nothing planned this weekend."  
"K'.'' Joey said now smiling. A beat.  
"You still wanna get together?" Joey asked hopefully.  
"Yea." Ok, here goes. Ryou said hoping that Bakura wasn't reading his mind at moment.  
"Kura I-"  
"I know what you want and the answer is no." Bakura rose from the couch and headed for the kitchen. Ryou followed whining and hating it.  
"Why not? I do things you want me to do." Bakura was raiding the refridgerator.  
"Name one." Ryou racked his brain.  
"Last halloween when you wanted to teepee Yami and Yugi's house. I didn't want to but I did anyway." Bakura was laughing.  
"I cracked him one good in the face with a frozen egg. Broke his nose." Seeing nothing good to eat he slammed the door.  
"You do the session or no...no...no sex!" Bakura's eyes widen and then dilated.  
"You wouldn't!" He shouted. Ryou felt smug.  
"Would."  
"Fine." He gruffed. Ryou throw his arms around Bakura's waist.  
"I knew you see it my way." At the Istar house Mailk only uttered three words to his yami.  
"You will go." Me: I help you guys enjoyed this chapter! Ryou: *sitting on Bakura's lap.* I did! Bakura: Only because you finally got your way. Ryou: *pouts* I always get my way. Bakura: Oh yeah? *They start to play fight. Bakura pins Ryou easily.* Me: Where did Kaiba and Joey go?*shrugs* Oh well! Next chapter will be session madness! 


	4. chapter 4

Me: Hey people! It's me again. Please reveiw my brother's story. He's really sad that no one has.  
  
Bakura: Who cares.  
  
Me: *glares* I'm so giving you hell this chapter!  
  
Bakura: Bring it.  
  
A/N ^Yami's mind link  
~Bakura's  
  
Chapter 4 Without you, I'm nothing at all  
  
The means are right for taking  
  
Fade to gray, trying to be ruthless  
  
In the face of beauty  
  
In this matrix it's plain to see  
  
It's either you or me Bruise  
  
Pristine  
  
Serene  
  
We were born to lose  
Brian Molko/Placebo  
  
Ryou stared anixious at Bakura who had decided to amuse himself by kicking the side of Ryou's chair. Thump. Thump. The noise was starting to drive him crazy!  
"Kura?" He called carefully. The wrong thing just might set him off. He shot him and baleful glance. Ryou went slient. I'll see what the doctor has to say. Just then Yugi and Yami were coming out.  
"See Yami, even Dr. Smith agrees with me. If you learn to share the vibr-" Catches sight of Ryou and Bakura.  
"Hey guys!" He greets cheerfully but nervously. Yami looks embrassed but stares at Bakura just the same. ^Got you too huh? ~Yup. ^What was the threat? ~No sex. ^Ouch! Harsh. ~You? ^He threatened to take away Victor. ~Who's Victor?  
"Ryou Bakura, Kura Bakura. The Dr. Smith will see you now." The prune faced lady at the desk said. They said thier good byes. In side the room was a young woman wearing glasses and ridiciously large hat. (it's me. shh!_u)  
"Have a seat." They sat. Ryou crossed legged, Bakura pouting. Dr. Smith flipps through charts.  
"Is says here that Bakura might have a possible drinking problem which causes him to become abusive at times." Bakura's jaw twitches. Ryou notices and places a hand on his yami's.  
"He's not that abusive anymore." Ryou said quickily. Dr.Smith notices the look on Bakura's face.  
"Are you sure?" She asked her tone suggestive. She then noticed the slight burise on Bakura's forehead.  
"How did you get that?'' Ryou, "Huh?" Dr.Smith shakes her head.  
"Not you him." Pointing at Bakura.  
"Get what?" Bakura asked also confused.  
"That burise on your head." A wicked grin spread across Bakura's face. Oh no! Ryou thought. `Yami what are you planning? ~You'll see. Bakura started to cry.  
"He hit me with book!" A look of horror spread across Ryou and Dr.Smith's face.  
"Why he do that?"  
"I didn't hit-"  
"Because I wanted to cuddle while he was doing homework." He sniffled. `I'm going to kill you!  
  
Me: That was fun!  
  
Ryou: Was not! You turned Kura against me!  
  
Bakura: It was bound to happen some day. *grins wickedly*  
  
Ryou: I thought you were going to give him hell!  
  
Me: I will. Just wait and see. 


End file.
